Living With, STD

How STDs Can Play a Role in Abusive Relationships

July 13, 2018

Not all relationships are great ones. An STD diagnosis isn’t necessarily a reason to prevent a connection with someone. On the other hand, how a partner handles that diagnosis may give you a great idea of his or her character. It can also help you discover if your connection is a great one.

You will find abusive individuals who can use sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) to try and control or injure their spouses.

This is normally done by intentionally exposing a spouse to an STD so as to make them feel trapped in the relationship. It might also be carried out using a spouse’s existing STD to hamper their sense of self-worth.

Intentionally Infecting Their Lovers

People who’ve been infected with an incurable STD frequently feel destroyed, filthy, or embarrassed. While most people can get over such feelings with counselling and time, some unethical and violent people will intentionally infect a partner with their STD. Their intention is to induce the very same feelings of shame and also to keep their spouse together forever.

Some Typical Quotes:

  • “Well, should I give him herpes, then he’ll need to remain with me”
  • “Now you’re ruined, too. You might as well stay with me as no one else will probably have you.”
  • “Now you have this disease, there is no way anyone else will love you. If you leave me, you’ll be lonely for the rest of your life.”

The simple truth is that anyone who intentionally infects you with an STD then tells you that you need to stay with him or her because you are”destroyed,””filthy,””unlovable,” or some other description is not somebody you ought to be in a relationship with. It doesn’t matter whether their activities come from feelings of hopelessness or self-loathing.

Knowingly infecting someone with an STD, with the intention of employing the disease to take control over their spouse’s life, is cruel and abusive. It is a fantastic indication you need to find a safe way out of that relationship as quickly as possible.

That said, it is important to acknowledge it is possible for people to expose their partners to STDs unintentionally. For example, this frequently happens if somebody has an asymptomatic infection of which they are unaware. It’s also worth mentioning that some individuals knowingly expose their partners to STDs out of ignorance, shame, or neglect instead of cruelty. While these situations could be betrayals of trust and failures of communication, they are not always abusive.

Making You Think No One Can Love You Because You Have an STD

When a relationship has started to go poorly, some people will use any method they can to maintain their partner from leaving. 1 such method may be telling their enthusiast it will not be possible for them to find a new partner since they have been diagnosed with an STD.

Some Typical Estimates:

  • “You are lucky that you found me. No one else would have you how you’re.”
  • “You can not leave me. You will not ever find another person who will take your investigation.”
  • “The only reason why I could look past your disease is that I have known you for years. Nobody else will take the time to bother.”

Don’t believe the lies. A lot of people with STDs who are honest and open in their diagnoses have discovered other loving–sexual and romantic–relationships. STDs are incredibly common. There are people out there who don’t think about any STD for a”deal breaker”

It’s true that some people you might want to date will not be in a position to deal with your STD diagnosis. But that does not mean that it is not possible to find love. Individuals will frequently choose to take reasonable risks to be with somebody they care about.

Those risks may include the prospect of being exposed to an STD. It often does not seem like such a big deal when you’re choosing to be with someone you love.

The Most Important Thing

Just because you’ve got an STD, an incurable one, does not mean that you need to remain with your current partner. There are ways to get help both with your infection and to escape your connection.

STDs do not make you a bad person, a dirty person or somebody unworthy of love. STDs are not a judgment from God. They are not a sign that you don’t deserve to be happy.

An STD Is Not a Reason to Stay in an Abusive Relationship

Find Information Regarding the National Domestic Violence Hotline here. Or telephone 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.