Living With

STDs Aren't Always a Indication of Infidelity

September 25, 2018

It’s always trying to discover you have a sexually transmitted disease (STD). However, finding out that you’ve got an STD when you are married or in a long term, committed relationship could be particularly devastating.

You not only need to deal with the identification, but you also have to face the reality your wife, husband, or partner could be having an affair.

It’s normal to have worries about the consequences of infidelity. But, an STD diagnosis does not necessarily mean your partner or spouse has strayed.

A Reasonable First Step

You should first ask yourself if you’ve been reliable about your STD screening and have spoken with your partner about studying. If not, it can be tricky to understand who infected you with an STD or whenever it happened. It may even be unclear once you’ve undergone regular STD screening.

If you were infected while having sex with a spouse who had not been tested in decades, you don’t know when he or she had been infected. There’s always the risk that they were infected asymptomatically a very long time before you got together and they just didn’t know it.

Even if you are having sex with a person who is infected with an STD, you won’t automatically get infected the first time you sleep together. An infection could take months or even years.

This is very true if you intermittently practice safe sex.

A Delayed Outbreak

This problem often comes up when a person has their very first herpes outbreak years into a union. Their initial assumption is generally they have a cheating partner. That could be true. Additionally, it is possible that they were infected for a long time but did not realize it.

It is not unusual for people not to know they are infected before something changes within their body. It is just when they have their very first noticeable symptoms it becomes understood and this could be years later.

Similar things may occur when a married woman is diagnosed using a pelvic inflammatory disease, which is connected with common illnesses like chlamydia and gonorrhea. A girl might believe her husband needs to have gotten it from”the other woman” However, unless she had been properly screened, it is likely that she had been carrying around a disease from before they met.

It’s Time to Get Tested

What exactly should you do if you learn that you have an STD while in a long-term relationship with a dedicated partner? The first and most crucial issue is to ask your partner to get tested. This will enable both of you to locate treatment.

Then, if your spouse is also infected with the exact same STD–and consequently a possible source–you have to sit down and talk.

The truth is that unless you were tested before you had sex, then it could be difficult to know who was infected first. It could be impossible to determine when that disease happened. Although most of the time the presence of symptoms points to some comparatively recent disease, there are exceptions for this.

There Was No Affair

What should you do if your spouse insists he or she did not have affair and that there was no other lover? The only option you have is to trust your heart and instincts. You are the one who needs to decide how you want to move ahead into the future.

Safe Sex at a Long-Term Relationship

Remember that there are ways to protect yourself if you want to remain with your partner but do not fully trust them. Safe sex is always a choice and it’s not advisable in any case. Condoms may not be infallible, but using them can give you some reassurance.

There’s sometimes a perception in American culture which condoms are something you”get past” after your relationship progresses to a certain point.

But, there’s really no reason for this to be authentic.

Many married couples use condoms for the life of their marriage. They use them for both contraception and illness defense. They do not think about them as something they’ll eventually get to discount. Unless you make it most of the time condom usage just is not that big of a deal.

A Word From Verywell

As soon as you find yourself with an STD at a long-term relationship, the news can indeed be upsetting. The main things to consider are that you both should be tested and that you want to get an honest conversation with your partner.

Jumping to conclusions will not address the problem. Try to remember that you don’t understand who was infected and when, particularly in the event that you’ve not been analyzed regularly. While some can offer guidance, it’s ultimately your decision about where your relationship goes from here.