Talking About Birth Control

The Way to Respond to Men's Excuses for Not Wanting to Put on a Condom

May 13, 2018

I’ve heard all types of reasons why guys do not want to use condoms. But, by not using them, your safety is in danger. Using condoms every time you have sex provides the best protection from catching an STD, including HIV. It is even suggested that you use a condom even when you’re on the Pill (or alternative prescription strategy or hormonal contraceptive). If a man says that he is”too large” to fit to a condom, open up one, put your hands together (like you’re clapping), roll the condom over your handsthen spread them apart about 12 inches wide — ask him if he’s larger than that!

Here are some explanations guys give and answers you can use:

  1. If he says: “It destroys the mood.”

    How to react:“Having unsafe sex puts me out of their disposition. For good!”

  2. If his excuse is:“A condom spoils my enjoyment of sexual activity.”

    How to react:“I can not enjoy sex unless we’re protected.”

  3. If he says:“If you truly love me, you need to trust me”  

    The best way to respond:“It is because I love you that I need to be sure we are both shielded.”

  4. When he complains:“I can not feel anything when I’m wearing a condom.”

    How to respond:“Many condoms have extra features to actually make sex better, and that you may both be better able to relax knowing you’re safeguarding yourselves from STDs and unintended pregnancy. Additionally, men can actually experience more pleasure with particular condoms (such as a ribbed condom) than with no one at all.”

  5. If he says:“Condoms do not really work; most of these get broken.”

    The best way to respond:“When we use it the right way, we’re 98% effective. Occasionally they break if you aren’t wearing the ideal size condom. Hey, let us figure out your condom size and select the perfect one for you”

  1. If his excuse is:“Wearing a condom is uncomfortable.”

    How to respond: Suggest another size or brand. Some distinct condom forms (besides latex condoms) to try:

    • Polyurethane Condoms
    • SKYN — Non-Latex Condoms
    • Trojan Double Ecstasy Condoms
    • KYNG Extra Large Condoms
    • LifeStyles Turbo Condoms
    • Kimono MicroThin Condoms with Aqua Lube

    Or, even if you’re feeling a bit feisty, you might come back with,”Yes, and so is being pregnant for 9 months and then having to give birth”

  1. If he states:“Do not tell me you actually think you’ll grab something from me.”

    How to react:“I am convinced I won’t but it is far better to be safe than sorry.”

  2. If his analogy is:“But you are on the pill”

    How to respond“The pill will not shield us from STDs we might not even know we’ve — a condom provides us that security. Plus, this way, we have double protection!”

  3. If he insists:“But we have had sex without a condom ”

    How to react:“That was a bad decision, and I really don’t wish to create it again. I was worried all month that I could be pregnant. We were lucky, and I am not chancing it .”

  4. If his excuse is:“I don’t understand how to use a condom the perfect way.”

    How to react:“I’ll do it for you.”

    You can also try using Sensis Condoms. These capsules have QuikStrips — special tabs which make it so every Sensis condom goes on fast, simple and like it ought to. To make things more sensual, try putting these condoms onto your partner. In the dark, there is no fumbling as it’s not difficult to tell which is the appropriate method to unroll the condom.

    To convince him further (and add a little excitement), use your mouth to put the condom on! Just be certain that you practice doing this first.

  5. You could also always teach him the correct way to use a condom — also make it a”fun” learning experience.

  1. Come prepared… bring your own hens! You can easily purchase them at the household planning aisle in the local grocery store or convenience/drug store or online (if you want to be discreet). 


  • Do not be afraid to ask your spouse to use a condom as you believe he won’t trust you. If that is so, then it may mean that you don’t trust him enough to ask him to use a condom.
  • To be honest with you, speaking about birth control could be difficult, but it is important (if you are in a significant relationship) to make these decisions together. If you’re feeling that you cannot talk with your partner about contraception, sexually transmitted diseases, and sexual histories, then you need to rethink if you’re prepared for a sexual relationship with this individual.
  • Recall, there are a number of reasons to use a condom. Learn all of the ways a condom can protect you both, so that you can remind him (and yourself) of why you need to use a condom every time you have sexual intercourse. Don’t let your spouse’s excuses stop you from protecting yourselves.
  • Read the following ways of how you’re able to respond to your partner. If it is going to make you feel prepared, rehearse themthen, you can be ready to challenge him if he gives you an excuse for not wanting to put on a condom.
  • Remind yourself that asking someone to use a condom shows that you have respect for yourself and for them, so refuse to have sex with somebody who doesn’t respect you or themselves enough to use security.

Ensure it is clear — no condom, no sex!

What You Need

  • Confidence
  • Determination
  • Self-respect
  • Perhaps your own pack of condoms